Listens: 201 Downloads: 436 Bookmarks: 2 Styles: Dubstep Format: MP3, 320 Kbit Remix to: Kate Havnevik - Timeless Duration: 5:03 Size: 11.5Mb Recording: 18 September 2013. No, toddlers are a real laugh Prince George, he of the retro romper set and grumpy brow, turns two today. As he does so, an avalanche of maternal wisdom will be directed at the supposedly hapless (yeah right) Kate on how to deal with the third in line to the throne as he becomes an enfant terrible. Yes, there are negative things that the Duchess of Cambridge will doubtless already be discovering: the inexplicable tantrums; the random outbursts of violence; the enraged cutlery- throwing; the relentless demands about everything from i. Pad use to preferred foods. Believe me, many is the time I’ve been smacked in the face by my children apropos of nothing . Kate Winslet has said she 'wouldn't look' when intimate scenes between her character and Leonardo DiCaprio are played during the premiere of Titanic in 3D. But, as my second child approaches this milestone, I think it’s time to stand up and declare that two- year- olds are terrific, not terrible. That outfit (Getty) Consider, for example, their totally uncompromising approach to absolutely everything. When it comes to resolute psychological manipulation, CIA torturers have nothing on a two- year- old. You can’t have it.” “WANT TEE- VEE.” And so on, ad nauseam until finally, you crack and switch the damn thing on. It’s exhausting, and yet also impressive. Trying to get a paste- loaded toothbrush in their mouths? Want to spoon the food in to speed things along a bit? Two- year- olds are fiercely independent. You can only admire their tenacity, wonder at the strength of their personality – and inevitably, weep at the weakness of your own. But at least you know what they want. Massive meltdown (Alamy) Which is, often, and sometimes only inadvertently, to do the right thing. As every canny mother knows, they delight in being helpful, as it makes them feel grown- up. Can’t be bothered to unload the dishwasher? Commandeer a two- year- old (just make sure the plates are plastic). Want someone to pick things up off the floor while you recline on the sofa? It’s a dream job for a toddler – as long as you’re not too fussy about what happens to said items. It only gets better: once they head towards three, you can teach them to use the Nespresso machine. Is there anything more charming than the sound of a waddling mite disjointedly warbling Old Macdonald Had A Farm to himself, complete with snorting noises for the pigs as he potters about the house? Or the sheer delight you’ll experience as a chubby finger points towards something and a sound approximating its name comes out? That’s a lot of “aah” moments. And, admittedly, some embarrassing ones. But at least it gives you something to laugh about. Even when they're grumpy they're cute (Alamy) For toddlers are hilarious in their limitations as well as their incredible development. They completely miss the point of hide and seek. They think it’s really funny to pretend to be asleep – but smile when they’re doing it and give the game away. Sure, there is the odd tantrum, but the upsides more than make up for the down. It’s three that Kate really wants to watch out for.
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